Today, tomorrow, and the rest of my life....

I read somewhere recently that someone said they would rather be sorry for a decision they made than look back and realize they should have taken a chance, and therefore missed out. The longer I live (and since I happen to be ancient), I realize that you can't sweat the small stuff. The stuff you have no control of. You just have to make the best of whats thrown at you, and when you think you can't take anymore, when the weight of the world is just too heavy, you have to pick up your sword and your shield, and you have to run screaming through the muck and the junk, headlong into whatever it is holding you back, and you have to fight for every moment that you are given.

Life is not the easiest journey one makes, there are so many rabbit trails, how does one ever find the right path? To be rather honest, I don't know if one ever finds the "perfect" path, as no one is perfect, and simply because we all make mistakes (for clarification see the previous statement).

See I can sit here worrying about money for regular bills and tuition, if I will have a job when I'm done four years of school, my clinical placement, if I will ever see my grandparents again, if I will FINALLY find my knight to sweep me off my feet and take me to my castle, or if I will be able to find a job that I will like AND will pay the bills right now. Or I can say, God, do your thing.



Yes, I am not immune to the warts that spring up spelling worry across my forehead. (For those of you who missed that, I was referring to "worry warts", I'm a riot I know). So I can sit around nitpicking decisions and trivial stuff. or I can drink hot chocolate, run through the leaves, lay on my bed and dream, and do my schoolwork knowing that God wouldn't put me through four years of my head exploding for nothing. See although I can't see all the rabbit holes, and I have no idea what tomorrow will hold, but I know someone who does... And while he doesn't always fill me in, Ive gotten myself into enough trouble to know that even though Ive cried myself to sleep about many a trivial thing, and tried to run away only to run into the same problems there too, he WILL get me where I need to be if I follow the pieces of the map I'm given.

Its not perfect. Don't ever expect anything to be, because I hate to burst your bubble but you will be sorely disappointed. Use what time you are given to laugh, act crazy, and make memories. Because in 90 years or so, when I look back, I would rather be able to say that I enjoyed life, and the plan that was laid out for me instead of worrying about the little things that I will never have control over, and analyzing every mistake I made, because you cant learn if you don't make mistakes.I will dream, I will push, and I will live... Today, tomorrow, and the rest of my life... because to be honest if I should die in battle of life, I would rather die fighting than being swallowed up by everything else around me and being one of many to just fall by the wayside.